When someone asks how you day is and “how are you” what do you reply? It seems to me that we rarely rely with a happy comment like “I’m happy” or “I am really contented today and grateful”. Or my favourite … “I’m awesome – and you?”
I was reading a post from Jeff Moore recently where I came across this quote …
“We begin from the recognition that all beings cherish happiness and do not want suffering. It then becomes both morally wrong and pragmatically unwise to pursue only one’s own happiness oblivious to the feelings and aspirations of all others who surround us as members of the same human family. The wiser course is to think of others when pursuing our own happiness.” – Dalai Lama
Jeff’s Everyday Power blog is motivational and encouraging for bringing out the best in us and supporting people to find a new and improved way of being. I like his work.
When we are able to live and work in a way that supports the happiness and contentment of others it has a rippling effect around us.
Someone mentioned to me the other day that they need something to look forward to (in order to be happy and content) and without that identified ‘thing’ or person they are depressed and miserable. They stated that someone coming to stay or an invitation to lunch with a friend gives them an emotional lift. Then the moment (for them) that ‘one special thing’ has passed, or left, they plunge down into deep, deep sadness again. This happens when people are unable to create their own happiness – under their feet and in the core of their being – and instead, see happiness as something that is provided by others and outside of themselves.
There are a number of reasons why people may experience life and happiness in this way – maybe it is a learned behaviour and a coping strategy – maybe they are mentally or emotionally unwell or exhausted – maybe they feel unsafe or fearful due to a traumatic event they have experienced or witnessed. Whatever the reason we all try and manage the best we can when life send us a curveball!
There is a school of thought you would have heard many times before, that we all need … something to do, someone to love and something to hope for. But, I wonder if that is indeed the truest and best or most helpful way to look at creating happiness for oneself. Or maybe it is and people just misinterpret the words and they just want a different person to love or hope to win significant amounts of money or go on a tropical holiday to escape from daily life.
I think that happiness is creating a purpose in your day (completing daily tasks and activities in a manner that is aligned with your core values) being loving and respectful to yourself (love yourself first and give others the same opportunity – to love their body, soul and spirit – without critique) and HOPE in your daily life! For me, hope is about ‘faith, hope and charity’ – the belief that goodness is in everyone and the more we share, give and show acceptance and compassion to others the more they are able to love and appreciate themselves & love and respect others. It is a circle, a beautiful colourful circle of hope!
“Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don’t even remember leaving open.”
Rose Wilder Lane (1901 – 1968)